Mordial33 wishes for critiques on their work
With some impressive work, this should be fun!
Mordial33 is looking for critiques (most interested in literature critiques if you can please). Stay tuned her for some critique over the next few days. And don't forget to visit Mordial33 and give a few critiques yourself! If you give a critique and you would like it featured, just comment here with a link to the comment or critique, and WE WILL POST IT.
on "Iridescent Hell" fav.me/d5n39r5"Very deep, reminds me of the book I'm reading, Paradise Lost, by John Milton.
As for the vocabulary, it was a wise choice to put the unfamiliar words at the bottom. I think the use of such words is rare, but I feel it does hinder the reader a bit by not feeling familiar enough to be able to picture what you're talking about. For example, I'm not quite sure what you mean by 'iridescent hell'. I'm familiar with both words, I just can't picture what you mean like I can't the rest of this.
(That may just be the fact it's nearly finals season for me. Brain's fried.)
Over all, nicely done!"
on "Iridescent Hell" fav.me/d5n39r5"You did well trying to replicate Edgar Allen Poe. It's dark, confusing, and not easily understood by the average person. You managed to have his type of writing without completely copying his style, which I must applaud you for.
This poem was meant to appeal to higher intellects, which is great. I'm glad you used large words not commonly heard in everyday language, it's a break from the monotone of simple English.
However, while you did use complex English, you did not fit it in correctly. "Blind to the dark, achromatic" Obviously the dark is without light. But achromatic also sounds randomly chosen to go there, even though I know it isn't.
"A shade on the walls, ecstatic," The first understanding that comes to mind is that there is a cheerful shade. I guess you were thinking of the noun, but that word is almost always used as an adjective. It describes something.
I love the idea behind it, I just think you should be more careful with word choice.
Good luck and happy writing!"
on "Gray Mountains in Blue" fav.me/d5k6m1m"This piece shows an amazing scenery. Even though the picture taken is not crystal clear, allow me to procceed with a critique about it.
First of all, the vision. Even though the picture is not clearly scanned, I have to admit that it looks really good. The shades between the mountains and the rocks, along with the snow that covers them, have turned out fantastic. The darker shadows add more to the contrast for a more realistic result. The sky turned out good. The only thing that needs a little edit are the clouds. I believe it'd turned out better if you had limitted the darker parts of the coulds in their bottom, instead of having them fully shaded. Try making the edges lighter and the downs darker.
Now, about the originality of your piece. It seems that you haven't tried something similar in the past, so I'd say it's original. About the technique, I will state that you should try to make darker shadows and lighter edges. Apart from that, your piece is very good.
At last, the impact might not be a 10/10 but I can say it can be a 7.5-8/10. And it's all because of the picture's quality, not the drawing itself. So, overall, I could say that this is a very good traditional art piece and I'd like to see more coming from you."
